On Rosh Hashanah, there is a ceremony called tashlich. Jews traditionally go to the ocean or a stream or river to pray and throw bread crumbs into the water. Symbolically, the fish devour their sins. A few years back some wag came up with suggestions for breads most appropriate for specific sins and misbehaviors. Although most Jews with e-mail have seen this list at least once, it may be new to a lot of your readers. Anyway, here's the list:
- For ordinary sins: White bread
- For complex sins: Multigrain
- For twisted sins: Pretzels
- For sins of indecision: Waffles
- For sins committed in haste: Matzah
- For sins of chutzpah: Fresh bread
- For substance abuse: Stoned wheat
- For use of heavy drugs: Poppy seed
- For committing auto theft: Caraway
- For tasteless sins: Rice cakes
- For ill-temperedness: Sourdough
- For silliness and eccentricity: Nut bread
- For not giving full value: Shortbread
- For excessive irony: Rye bread
- For particularly dark sins: Pumpernickel
- For dressing immodestly: Tarts
- For causing injury to others: Tortes
- For being holier than thou: Bagels
- For dropping in without notice: Popovers
- For overeating: Stuffing
- For raising your voice too often: Challah
- For pride and egotism: Puff pastry
- For sycophancy: Brownies
- For laziness: Any long loaf
- For trashing the environment: Dumplings
- For telling bad jokes/puns: Corn bread
