Monday, September 29, 2008

Another Bread Analogy in Honor of Rosh Hashanah

Author Laurence Shatkin totally digs the PITA type metaphors in our book. Today he's sharing an e-mail meme that relates different types of bread to different types of sins to be atoned for:

On Rosh Hashanah, there is a ceremony called tashlich. Jews traditionally go to the ocean or a stream or river to pray and throw bread crumbs into the water. Symbolically, the fish devour their sins. A few years back some wag came up with suggestions for breads most appropriate for specific sins and misbehaviors. Although most Jews with e-mail have seen this list at least once, it may be new to a lot of your readers. Anyway, here's the list:

  • For ordinary sins: White bread
  • For complex sins: Multigrain
  • For twisted sins: Pretzels
  • For sins of indecision: Waffles
  • For sins committed in haste: Matzah
  • For sins of chutzpah: Fresh bread
  • For substance abuse: Stoned wheat
  • For use of heavy drugs: Poppy seed
  • For committing auto theft: Caraway
  • For tasteless sins: Rice cakes
  • For ill-temperedness: Sourdough
  • For silliness and eccentricity: Nut bread
  • For not giving full value: Shortbread
  • For excessive irony: Rye bread
  • For particularly dark sins: Pumpernickel
  • For dressing immodestly: Tarts
  • For causing injury to others: Tortes
  • For being holier than thou: Bagels
  • For dropping in without notice: Popovers
  • For overeating: Stuffing
  • For raising your voice too often: Challah
  • For pride and egotism: Puff pastry
  • For sycophancy: Brownies
  • For laziness: Any long loaf
  • For trashing the environment: Dumplings
  • For telling bad jokes/puns: Corn bread

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